tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8466691337834051176.post8702033935304020507..comments2024-03-01T03:37:20.420-05:00Comments on I'M SOMEWHERE ELSE: yeah so I want to use the r-word in a story I'm writingAmanda Foresthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04200794053287551087noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8466691337834051176.post-76504969944640111192010-11-22T21:01:55.595-05:002010-11-22T21:01:55.595-05:00Sometimes I feel wholesome and well-adjusted... an...Sometimes I feel wholesome and well-adjusted... and sometimes I feel like everything is falling apart around me and I'm just not good enough to deal with it. Today I'm in the second category.Zoehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11415989880473044852noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8466691337834051176.post-57497046069216691012010-11-22T15:45:16.091-05:002010-11-22T15:45:16.091-05:00for some reason I always think of you as being rea...for some reason I always think of you as being really wholesome and well-adjusted, then when you say things like this I'm oddly moved and surprised.Amanda Forest Vivianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06284158336100298682noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8466691337834051176.post-64049059800853950882010-11-22T15:10:34.837-05:002010-11-22T15:10:34.837-05:00I have absolutely used ableist words about myself ...I have absolutely used ableist words about myself with the intention of hurting myself that way, or with the intention of proving myself to other people somehow. "This is my gesture of good faith; I want you to like me so badly that I will insult myself and other disabled people in order to excuse whatever I just did." Of course, no one ever noticed what I was putting myself through using those words -- they were just regular words that people used all the time. I have tried to stop doing that because I ask other people not to do it, because I don't like the thrill I get from using these words as some sick private joke. "I am bad, I am the standard of badness." Fuck that shit.Zoehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11415989880473044852noreply@blogger.com