tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8466691337834051176.post943493401087394853..comments2024-03-01T03:37:20.420-05:00Comments on I'M SOMEWHERE ELSE: safety is not the worstAmanda Foresthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04200794053287551087noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8466691337834051176.post-70940802851566726882011-01-30T01:54:34.487-05:002011-01-30T01:54:34.487-05:00I think I understand what you are saying. I'm ...I think I understand what you are saying. I'm having a hard time following things right now.<br /><br />I think that what you are saying is that because you didn't cover (whether because you couldn't cover or chose not to) when you were younger, you were a target for a particular kind of bullshit that people who were able to or chose to cover did not have to experience. So there is part of you that feels pain that those people who had/have safety now claim the same identity as you.<br /><br />If that'd what you are saying, I TOTALLY feel you. I know it's fucked up, but I also think it's an okay way to feel. Not a great thing to do or to make another person's problem, but I think you feel what you feel, and that feeling makes a lot of sense.<br /><br />(I feel like there are a few sites in my own life where I feel like this, but I'm having trouble accessing them right now.)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8466691337834051176.post-54702562202612242832011-01-26T19:17:30.321-05:002011-01-26T19:17:30.321-05:00Oh, I'm sorry Amanda. I hope I didn't make...Oh, I'm sorry Amanda. I hope I didn't make you feel bad. :(Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8466691337834051176.post-90235506611350004042011-01-25T22:46:27.472-05:002011-01-25T22:46:27.472-05:00I don't know you that well having just recentl...I don't know you that well having just recently started reading your blog, but it seems to me that the issue with Martha has to do with her not being a good friend to you, regardless of anything else.<br /><br />It wasn't fair of her to be open and friendly with you sometimes and not others because it suited her, no matter what the reason was. And not excusing her behavior doesn't mean you are being unfair to people who were in the closet during high school, it just means that she wasn't being a good friend to you.<br /><br />The way I see you, someone is either your friend or they aren't. They don't get to pick and choose whether to acknowledge you or ignore you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8466691337834051176.post-79837677100258008632011-01-25T21:17:52.973-05:002011-01-25T21:17:52.973-05:00Absolutely remember the song. It's still prett...Absolutely remember the song. It's still pretty important to me, actually.<br /><br />I think being out and being subjected to bullying/othering/isolation is definitely a different level of oppression than being closeted and a bystander to/participator in bullying/othering/isolation. At the same time the closetedness, and the fear of stigma, and the internalized homophobia also come from oppression, so I can see what you're saying, and I agree there's probably a way to acknowledge those two things at the same time.Zoehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11415989880473044852noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8466691337834051176.post-5934507348094614322011-01-25T21:08:33.726-05:002011-01-25T21:08:33.726-05:00although I do feel it's a little different fro...although I do feel it's a little different from what I'm talking about because there definitely is reason to say that I'm being an asshole and I'm denying space/identity/sympathy to queer people who have been closeted or realized they were queer later. like, for me it's weird because I know I'm on the edge of saying something that I really think is offensive and untrue. but I also feel like...there has to be some place where it makes sense for me to say, "you are not like me, I experienced oppression you did not experience, and, in some cases, I feel you sold me out (like the song, if you remember that song) and you're appropriating my identity"--except I don't mean they're appropriating my identity because it is theirs too but I used to feel that way.Amanda Forest Vivianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06284158336100298682noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8466691337834051176.post-88919218413803072082011-01-25T21:01:02.682-05:002011-01-25T21:01:02.682-05:00that definitely makes sense.that definitely makes sense.Amanda Forest Vivianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06284158336100298682noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8466691337834051176.post-69595373283798074262011-01-25T20:55:30.354-05:002011-01-25T20:55:30.354-05:00Okay, so this makes me think of something that'...Okay, so this makes me think of something that's totally tangiential but kind of similar as well? And you said you'd welcome off-topic-ness here so here goes:<br /><br />At my school, but I've seen this other places too, there's a culture of being "awkward," but fake-awkward, awkward in an amazingly calculated, semi-ironic way. In my opinion you pretty much have to be NT to take part in this socially acceptable awkwardness, because the line between Good Awkward and Bad Awkward is thin and zig-zaggy and unmarked.<br /><br />I have seen these people proclaim that they are "so awkward" and then get really nasty about people who are awkward for reasons of disability, whose clumsiness is not an affectation.<br /><br />I get really mad at these people because I feel like they're the people who bullied me in elementary/middle/high school, dressed up in different clothes and pretending to share my experience. And they don't.<br /><br />Does that make sense?Zoehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11415989880473044852noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8466691337834051176.post-72431730380421573002011-01-25T20:50:39.230-05:002011-01-25T20:50:39.230-05:00gosh...I thought they were okay
sometimes I'm...gosh...I thought they were okay<br /><br />sometimes I'm distracted?<br /><br />I'm sorry.Amanda Forest Vivianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06284158336100298682noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8466691337834051176.post-40548657337752419512011-01-25T20:44:50.629-05:002011-01-25T20:44:50.629-05:00Oh and do you ever think we have much more satisfy...Oh and do you ever think we have much more satisfying conversations in blog comments than we do in IM?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8466691337834051176.post-445221162537787642011-01-25T20:43:57.003-05:002011-01-25T20:43:57.003-05:00I actually thought that bit with guy with epilepsy...I actually thought that bit with guy with epilepsy was awesome. I remember not believing they actually went there. It seemed like a much more realistic and gritty portrayal of disability than usual for television. <br /><br />As for my off-topic-topic, I think right now I'm caught up in thinking about my own situation, since of course I'm right on that fuzzy passing/no passing line, which I really want to post about as soon as I procure a Shiny Diagnosis That Will Make Peeps Take Me Srsly™Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8466691337834051176.post-36600310339786431822011-01-25T20:34:10.396-05:002011-01-25T20:34:10.396-05:00no, it's cool :)
you like Mad Men, right? I j...no, it's cool :)<br /><br />you like <i>Mad Men</i>, right? I just love Don's girlfriend's brother with epilepsy, to whom Don makes his usual "move forward, start over" speech, and the guy is just like, I can't do that you asshole I have epilepsy.<br /><br />that's not really 100% on topic either. I am just sorting out what I'm thinking about so I welcome off-topic-ness even more than usual.Amanda Forest Vivianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06284158336100298682noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8466691337834051176.post-16866117853178153162011-01-25T20:29:54.463-05:002011-01-25T20:29:54.463-05:00Sort of related, but this post makes me think on h...Sort of related, but this post makes me think on how some people <em>can't</em> pass, whether it's for straight, or white, or abled, or cis, or whatever. <br /><br />That line can be blurry as well though. Like some people don't pass, but what's "off" about them isn't obvious, so they just get shunted off to the "weird" category. Which is what happened to me. <br /><br />I didn't think of myself as bi or realize I was neurologically different in anyway in high school though. But I think the kids sure knew I wasn't "normal."<br /><br />Oh hell. I'm not even sure what kind of point I'm trying to make here. I think I'll shut up now.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com