we need a name for this

"Ari Ne'eman can talk and some ASD people can't talk so he's not a good representative"
"oh so who do you think should represent ASD people"
"um, me"
"oh okay are you like a nonverbal ASD person"
"oh no, actually I don't have ASD at all"
"wait so then isn't Ari Ne'eman more ASD than you"
"yeah but for some reason 'how ASD someone is' only matters when I'm talking about people who aren't me and my friends"