me: it's so weird to have this identity that's massively important to me that I feel like someone could just take away
untoward.lady: nods
I have felt like that about my autism for a long time
...
you know something though? A lot of people have told me I'm not autistic or "not really autistic" or some other you're-really-"normal" statements but I have never, EVER been accused of being neurotypical by an autistic person
ever
sometimes those who have power over us, like doctors and "autism moms" and bureacrats and stuff will try to deny us who we are and tell us that we can't belong to our community
but that's why we have a community
That's what I'm afraid of when I finally see the doctor.
ReplyDeleteOr being seen as weird because of wanting to get a diagnosis for something when I could just keep pretending[1] to be "normal."
[1] Pretending badly, mind you. I can't help but tic in public, though I try to keep the worst ones under control.
It's the 'ol Catch-22. If you succeed at life, you fail at being "authentically autistic". The failure to conform to stereotypes (of dubious accuracy) leads to a denial of identity by those who do not share that identity. This is not unique to Autistic people, but is painful in a unique way.
ReplyDelete