I think autism is a real thing, mostly because I seem to have a lot in common with a lot of other people I know who were diagnosed with autism, especially people who were diagnosed when they were kids. So I guess what I mean is that I think there is a group of people who have a similar disability and often get the same label. But because most professional opinion on autism doesn’t really relate to what my actual disability is like, I kind of don’t think autism is a real thing, at the same time.
It’s kind of like if most gay people had purple ears--not necessarily their whole life, but at some point, maybe when they were a kid. Some gay people would have purple ears their whole lives though. Some gay people would only have purple ears for a minute and it would be hidden under their hair. A few gay people wouldn’t have purple ears ever.
I can see why professionals might get very focused on studying why some people have purple ears, and even why some people might find it important to their identity, and I can even imagine going around and using “purple ears” as a synonym for being gay, especially if being gay took a long time to explain--but this doesn’t mean that purple ears are actually the important thing that’s going on. Being gay is what’s actually going on, and it’s what people with purple ears have in common that’s more permanent and important than the color of our ears.
(Purple ears equals diagnosis of autism or maybe more specifically the kind of surface attributes that lead someone to get diagnosed with autism.)
Showing posts with label diagnosis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label diagnosis. Show all posts
25 January, 2012
30 November, 2011
can diagnosis make you feel good?
I have a dear friend who really wants to be diagnosed with ASD. I find this ridiculous. I feel kind of bad about it because I turn into the least supportive friend in the universe whenever the subject gets brought up.
My friend: I think it would be really helpful because then if it makes me feel like crying when someone talks loud, I wouldn't have to feel bad about that.
Me: (badly suppressed laugh)
My friend has a bunch of more specific and less stigmatized--therefore, way more useful--disability diagnoses. I'm like, what's wrong with those? The LD/MH ones more or less add up to ASD, except for the loudness thing, but get an SPD diagnosis if it's that important to you. (My friend isn't trying to access any services that are specifically for people with ASD.)
My friend: Well, I just think it would make more sense instead of me having all these different things.
Me: Well then you already know it makes sense.
My friend: I would feel better if I was officially diagnosed.
Me: Well, okay, but it's not going to feel that official because you're going to have to go to like ten doctors because you look too normal and have too many friends.
Blah blah blah. Am I a bitch? I guess I just think it's up to my friend whether he wants to feel like an asshole for being upset by loud noises, and not only is the purpose of a diagnosis not to make you not feel like an asshole, but in my experience it's pretty much the opposite.
A bunch of people on tumblr were talking about how professionals tend to "treat" people with ADHD basically by telling them to do things that are really hard for someone with ADHD to do. As far as I can tell the same goes for autism. Plenty of non-disabled people in my life, who understand that I have autism as a fact, can think of nothing more offensive than taking my word for it when I say, "this is REALLY hard for me" or "this is making me REALLY upset" or "could you do me a favor by doing this, which would help me do something the way I need to do it, because I can't do it the other way?"
Stock answers:
"Wait, why would that be hard?"
(thinks I am joking about being upset)
"I can't believe you would ask me to do that!"
"Well, why don't you just do this? Why not?"
Seriously guys. Autism, or whatever, is not a word that helps. Having a real disability does not in any way give you the right to feel like anything other than a bad person when you can't do something. It definitely doesn't give you the right to draw your own conclusions about what you need or what is the right way to react to a problem.
I admit that I am kind of a shit friend when it comes to this, because I hate everyone and I feel like the only thing you can do is feel okay yourself, because most people don't want you to feel okay.
My friend: I think it would be really helpful because then if it makes me feel like crying when someone talks loud, I wouldn't have to feel bad about that.
Me: (badly suppressed laugh)
My friend has a bunch of more specific and less stigmatized--therefore, way more useful--disability diagnoses. I'm like, what's wrong with those? The LD/MH ones more or less add up to ASD, except for the loudness thing, but get an SPD diagnosis if it's that important to you. (My friend isn't trying to access any services that are specifically for people with ASD.)
My friend: Well, I just think it would make more sense instead of me having all these different things.
Me: Well then you already know it makes sense.
My friend: I would feel better if I was officially diagnosed.
Me: Well, okay, but it's not going to feel that official because you're going to have to go to like ten doctors because you look too normal and have too many friends.
Blah blah blah. Am I a bitch? I guess I just think it's up to my friend whether he wants to feel like an asshole for being upset by loud noises, and not only is the purpose of a diagnosis not to make you not feel like an asshole, but in my experience it's pretty much the opposite.
A bunch of people on tumblr were talking about how professionals tend to "treat" people with ADHD basically by telling them to do things that are really hard for someone with ADHD to do. As far as I can tell the same goes for autism. Plenty of non-disabled people in my life, who understand that I have autism as a fact, can think of nothing more offensive than taking my word for it when I say, "this is REALLY hard for me" or "this is making me REALLY upset" or "could you do me a favor by doing this, which would help me do something the way I need to do it, because I can't do it the other way?"
Stock answers:
"Wait, why would that be hard?"
(thinks I am joking about being upset)
"I can't believe you would ask me to do that!"
"Well, why don't you just do this? Why not?"
Seriously guys. Autism, or whatever, is not a word that helps. Having a real disability does not in any way give you the right to feel like anything other than a bad person when you can't do something. It definitely doesn't give you the right to draw your own conclusions about what you need or what is the right way to react to a problem.
I admit that I am kind of a shit friend when it comes to this, because I hate everyone and I feel like the only thing you can do is feel okay yourself, because most people don't want you to feel okay.
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