cassie ainsworth & redemption rejection

this is just some Skins gibbering, mostly character- and not plot-based, which I think is interesting in terms of ideas of covering (or "disability redemption").



me: that was me being a bitch like oh wow but fuck you style
have I mentioned that's like my favorite line ever?
Joshua: haha, it's a good moment. I dunno Jal is being kind of patronising, and though she never deserved to be the target of evil Cassie, you can see why that would hit Cassie's angry spot!
me: like, it sort of reminds me of having to act really cute to make up for being disabled
Joshua: nice interpretation
me: that's what "oh wow but fuck you" means to me.
Joshua: and like.. even more charitable to S2 Cassie than I usually am.. which is very charitable.
me: oh I mean, I don't necessarily mean that's what she means. it's just sort of what it means to me. Like, I think she just says oh wow because she always says it, and then she gets to the actual content of what she's saying, which is fuck you. But to me like oh wow is a very important line, even though people act like it's stupid and annoying, it means something really important.
me: I remember once telling Ari that I liked working with severely disabled people because lots of the people I worked with hugged everyone they met, and for some reason I'd observed this was more common in adults than kids with similar disabilities
Joshua: like they feel they have to be like that?
me: and Ari suggested that some people are very isolated and it's like "oh wow a person! I never get to interact with a person!" He said something like, "I hope the next generation of pwds can decide that they're not particularly interested in someone or they don't like them"
I think this is interesting in terms of how Cassie is introduced in the first episode. I haven't seen it in a while, but I think she hugs tony, possibly hugs sid, and then hugs abigail--"YOU'RE SO LOVELY!!!"
the plot thickens!
then obviously throughout the season there's the constant "oh wow" and manic pixie dream girl reactions to everything--coupled with starving, suicide attempts which often seem in her cases to be engineered to hurt people or cause as much trouble as possible, and occasional moments of being pretty mean or pissed off.
me: I am sort of getting this from you because I remembered when you said that Cassie doesn't really change from s1-s2, not in a deep way.
Joshua: No she really doesn't.
me: yeah so in conclusion, the line "Oh wow, but fuck you" line means a lot to me because it's almost like Cassie sort of rejecting the things that she previously did to try to "earn" people's friendship and support.
Joshua: Cassie would not mean nearly as much to me without s2 as much as I love S1 Cassie. If she'd been left at that without the contrast of S2 she'd be a standard Manic Pixie Dream and a fairly borderline offensive idealised picture of mental illness.

Joshua: I was wondering, do you see anything disabled metaphory about Prisioner of Azkaban?
me: about who?
I mean, Lupin duh, do you mean other people?
Joshua: cos my favourite part of the book was hearing about how James, Sirius and Peter turn themselves into animagi to understand and help Lupin with his "condition" I thought it was really touching and poetic. But like, is that like magical crip drag or just magical.. being willing to see the world from a disabled persons perspective rather than trying to make them "normal"?
me: that's always been my favorite chapter in any of the books, I used to read it over and over when I was a kid
like, I think James and Sirius are kind of like Freddie and Cook
well, you won't get to this for a while
but I feel like Remus is often characterized as feeling like he doesn't have a right to his own opinions because he owes them so much
Joshua: ooohh I love that analogy
the Freddie/Cook/JJ one
me: well, I think given stuff Remus says later, it makes a lot of sense.
um...yeah
I wouldn't call it crip drag or anything like that
I think I wouldn't exactly call it goodness or kindness, totally--but maybe that's what Remus needed
Joshua: no, I didn't think it was, but I thought i'd speculate that possibility!
me: like, they were doing it for fun, partly. I think they didn't totally get it
Joshua: were James and Sirius kind of dicks when they were young? I haven't read to this bit but I've had some naughty wiki glancing
me: I may be projecting/imagining, but I feel like James and Sirius probably didn't understand how much Remus didn't think turning into an animal was fun
Joshua: weren't*
me: so, hm, maybe we will call it crip drag
yup!
and Remus was afraid to say anything
me: JK Rowling also said this: "Lupin’s failing is he likes to be liked. That’s where he slips up – he’s been disliked so often he’s always pleased to have friends so he cuts them an awful lot of slack."

(by the way, here is very long post/essay I wrote on the Skins livejournal community about my love for JJ, which at some points discusses JJ's unequal relationship with Freddie and Cook.)

ding ding ding, ding, ding ding

I'm thinking of writing some Skins recaps because a)there seem to be no recaps of gen 1, which is a heartbreak, b)there aren't that many sites recapping gen 3 because two of the three sites that recapped gen 2 are lesbian sites, c)no one who recaps Skins writes about disability very well, which is frustrating because d)there are a few really good portrayals, and a lot more that are worth discussing.

I don't know when I will do this and I'll probably just write on whichever episodes I feel like writing about. I'm also not sure whether I should do the recaps here or on Bad Brains Wearing Clothes (Zoe is that legit? At all?).

Some thoughts: (SPOILERS)

1. JJ/Emily isn't offensive to me as a lesbian. Should it be offensive to me as an Autistic person?
2. 1x02=awesome. But what are Cassie's food issues like after this? Do they immediately go away or are there signs of them still being around later?
3. 2x09: "I stopped eating and everyone had to do what I said. It was the happiest time of my life." Is this a)a retcon by the writers, b)a retcon by Cassie, c)actually supported by series 1?
4. Why 4x06 sucks both because of the series arc, and because it unnecessarily brings in disability issues and then doesn't address them properly.
5. Did Sketch turn evil because she has to OMG physically support her mom?
6. Does Cassie actually change dramatically, or did we just read her wrong because of her scripts?
7. What would have been a better way to introduce and portray Effy's bad brains?
8. True or false: if someone can't get an erection, you can't have sex or a relationship with them.
9. Overprotective parents and their relationship to real or imaginary disabilities--Cadie, JJ, and Pandora. Also, what is lost in the transition from Cassie to Cadie.
10. Terrible doctors and their relationship to real or imaginary disabilities--Cassie, Cadie, JJ, and Effy.
11. Why is Mini so awesome?
12. Josh. (I'm referring to both the character, and the only person who will probably read these recaps.)

PS--I'm actually thinking I may do this in the summer. We'll see.

Oh wow US Skins, but...fuck you!

WE LOSE. (Actually I lose every time I remember that I don't look like Hannah Murray.)

The American Skins remake is pretty bad, but the last episode was all right. If I saw it on its own I probably wouldn't think it was that bad. However, since I'm familiar with the original Skins the episode illustrated something that I think is problematic about portrayals of the less visible mind disabilities (say psychiatric disabilities, learning disabilities, and verbal autism) on TV and in movies. As I see it, it can go two ways.

1. the person has a very obvious disability, correctly diagnosed by professionals who give the person exactly the right kind of help. Very medical model--the disability is the problem. Everyone else (parents, friends, etc.) wants to help and is super helpful all the time. Usually this character appears in a Lifetime movie or is a minor/guest character.

2. the person is diagnosed with a disability and given treatment by professionals who seem kind of incompetent. It seems like parents, friends, etc. are treating the person in an overprotective or disrespectful way because of the diagnosis. Maybe the person gets put on meds that have some bad effects. Amanda gets excited--is this a three-dimensional, realistic portrayal of disability? Probably not. The person, it's implied, doesn't really have a disability at all. Their parents are just overprotective.

(I won't go into the implications of this dichotomy but I think something similar is explored in the FWD/Forward posts about TV shows, movies, and books, where people without psychiatric disabilities end up in institutions.)

This ubiquity of these two portrayals can be observed by reading recaps and discussion threads about my beloved Skins 3x07. To me, the issues in the episode are twofold: a)JJ has autism and can't handle some stuff that's going on, b)his mom, friends, and psychiatrist are all dicks. But I always see people talking about the episode this way:

"I feel so bad for JJ's mom, his condition has had a big effect on her. It's so sad that he has to take so much medication to control it. He's so lucky he has such nice friends! Emily was so nice to help JJ! It was great at the end of the episode when JJ's mom was happy because she saw how Emily was helping JJ become more normal and get better at socializing."

Or this way:

"JJ is starting to realize that he was misdiagnosed and shouldn't freak out about things because he's normal."

In Generation One, the one that's currently being remade in the US, there was a disabled main character too. Her name was Cassie and I have to make a Bad Brains Wearing Clothes post about her because she basically got me started wearing lipstick for the first time and she has perfect sunglasses and a perfect jacket and perfect hair. Cassie had anorexia and was suicidal, but she was also super cool and funny; and, as with JJ, she was surrounded by douchebags but this wasn't set up as being the reason she seemed disabled.

Cadie, the Cassie character in the American Skins remake, is probably the only character in the remake I especially like. Her episode wasn't that bad. But listen to this! She's not anorexic anymore. She's just on a bunch of medication and one of her doctors said she has OCD but it kind of seems like Cadie is faking it to get pills? And her mom is also a huge bitch who doesn't think anything Cadie does is okay, which could be how she ended up going to doctors in the first place. Basically, in the transfer from UK to US, Cassie has changed from a character who was actually disabled, but wasn't just disabled, to a character who might not be disabled at all.

I made a post on Fear Claws about how everyone should watch Skins.

You Should Watch Skins Everyone is Beautiful!!

You maybe shouldn't look at this post if you have problems with flashing lights etc., because I used gifs from this scene where all the characters are playing with sparklers. Maybe that's a really clueless thing to say, I don't know exactly which kind of images trigger people with seizure disorders and migraines, but I don't want to assume.

But otherwise you should look at it because they're GORGEOUS and I don't care if you have other plans for your life right now. I want to talk about Skins with you.

on fruit bats/the r word/everything in real life

I just want to talk about, well, everything I have to say, using this one scene from Skins.

Basically, JJ (who has ASD and some other stuff) doesn't like the way his friends Cook and Freddie are acting, and they won't listen to his opinions. He can sometimes need a lot of support, and he's not as cool as they are, so they treat him more like a little brother than an equal friend. Then JJ overhears Cook referring to him as a "barmy fucker" and gets even more pissed. He tries to tell Cook how annoyed he is at him and Freddie, but Cook brushes him off as usual.

Cook: Now, are you coming or do I have to keep look out myself when I'm buying gear?
JJ: (softly) Just care, okay?
Cook: About what?
JJ: (suddenly shouting) About me! About me, you twat! You're all fucking twats!
(Cook looks surprised and concerned, and hugs JJ and holds him, stroking his hair. Cook has a tendency to be overly demonstrative and sentimental.)
Cook: I pissing love you, J. Nothing's gonna change that, man. You're my very own little fruit bat. Fuck Freddie. It's just me and you now, J. Feel the love. You feeling it? Right?

--3x07, about halfway through

What Cook says is really sweet, but there's something that has the potential to ruin its sweetness--Cook calling JJ a fruit bat. We see at multiple points in this episode that JJ really doesn't like Cook to use nicknames or make jokes that are based on JJ's disabilities. In context, it seems obvious that "fruit bat" is a reference to "fruitcake," and therefore fits into the category of names JJ doesn't like to be called. But JJ doesn't say anything. He arguably winces at the word "fruit bat" and doesn't look completely satisfied by anything Cook is saying; but he closes his eyes and seems to enjoy being held.

Now, on some level, this interaction--Cook saying "fruit bat" and JJ not responding--is kind of fucked up. And one thing it reminds me of is something that sometimes happens when you belong to a minority that your friends don't belong to. You end up accepting stuff that offends you, because if you spoke up every time something offended you, your friends would just think you were annoying and be mad at you. This can happen to anyone (I love this post about token black friends)--but it's particularly hard to fight when you depend on your friends for support, or don't think you have the ability to make new friends.

When I look at the scene that way, my smile disappears, as does my desire to write a slash fic. It becomes a really sad scene. JJ seems isolated, marginalized in his own friendship, intimidated out of standing up for himself. I think this is a totally correct way to look at the scene; it's not just an interpretation, it is what's happening.

However, even though I think this is objectively true, it's not the only thing that's objectively true. Cook doesn't realize the effect his language has on JJ and, rather than consciously choosing to ignore something offensive, JJ is probably too emotional to let the word "fruit bat" outweigh everything else Cook is saying. And maybe he has a point. Sometimes people close to us say things that are offensive, and that doesn't make it right--but it doesn't always mean they don't care about us. We have the right to say we're offended; intent doesn't make something okay--but if we choose not to say we're offended, this isn't always a sad thing where we're submitting to the dominant culture, or whatever. I mean technically maybe it is. But you know, also our friend is hugging us. Maybe we "pick our battles." Maybe in our personal lives, sometimes we decide how we feel about intent, and maybe in some moments intent is good enough.

Can I say this? Do you know what I mean?

something else about Skins

(stfu you can't imagine how much I love this show)

in 3x04 when Freddie finds JJ at Pandora's party and looks after him--I generally hate Freddie, but he's really sweet in that scene. and the whole fact that Freddie, Cook, and JJ all use the phrase "locked on" to refer to instances when JJ becomes obsessively upset; then people who aren't in the trio, like Emily, also start using the phrase about JJ when he is upset.

I think this is cool for multiple reasons.

We eventually learn that JJ has a diagnosis of "lower autism spectrum" (is this really what they say in the UK?). But the truth is, we really don't need a word to tell us about JJ. Often, pop culture portrayals of verbal people with ASD are very superficial and behavioral. It's hard to explain what I mean by behavioral, but you'll just have to take my word for it that JJ isn't portrayed like that. It's something like...you could watch a lot of clips of the show and not realize that JJ is written and played as having autism. But those moments of his character aren't at odds with the moments in between, where he certainly seems like an unusual person but it could be a lot of things, or the moments when he's quite stereotypically (but not inaccurately) "locked on" or having a meltdown.

He's just himself, the whole time.

As far as we know (well, I'm only seven episodes in, but still, that's a lot) none of JJ's friends know about his diagnosis. I'm guessing Freddie and Cook probably do, but we're not actually told that. The only time words related to ASD have been used are a)when we learn JJ's diagnosis by seeing his diagnostic papers and articles on autism that his mother has, and b)when JJ is upset and calls himself a bunch of slurs: "Retard! Nutjob, headcase, spazzo, mong, autistic fucking fruitcake, mental basket, shitty, in a fucking cuckoo's nest."

The first instance is kind of cheesy forced exposition, but the second is really interesting because we get a sense of autism not by itself, but as part of a whole group of stigmatized conditions. I think it's really--well, I can't say it's more realistic for everyone, but personally, I think that, assuming you're not part of any kind of Autistic culture, and especially if you are really upset about your disability, it makes sense that you wouldn't really identify as having "autism" or "Asperger's" or "ASD," but just as Not Being Normal. After all the idea of abusing someone for being "autistic" is not as established as abuse against people who are "retarded" or "mental baskets." So abuse against people with ASD is often done in the name of another disability that ASD superficially resembles. And therefore, it's not really strange that almost every term JJ uses in his outburst is a derogatory term for people with either psychiatric or intellectual disabilities, except for "spazzo," which I think is generally an insult based on CP and/or epilepsy; "autistic;" and "shitty."

Anyway, where I'm going with this, and with the fact that none of the other characters so far have ever had a discussion about JJ having "autism" or "lower autism spectrum" or "Asperger's," or whatever...is that the tendency to repeat a bunch of diagnostic labels in fiction, or to have a character who constantly "acts autistic," is often done in a clumsy attempt to educate, or to sensationalize the disability. In real life, people with ASD, and the people around us, don't usually behave like this.

The risk is, though, that if an ASD fictional character just behaves like themselves and isn't stereotypically, classically ASD all the time, and we don't use the word much, then consumers may just say, "Oh, I didn't realize he was supposed to be autistic, and he was just a little weird anyway. It didn't seem to really affect him." Which is annoying, because the character isn't really making a difference then. Plus there's the whole sense that if someone's ASD isn't immediately visible to you, then it's not really affecting them. But how do you show effects that aren't as obvious as a monologue or something?

What I think is really lovely in Skins is that JJ's disabled-ness is kind of like a ghost--although it's not something that people intentionally don't mention, like a ghost, but it's just something that everyone is very used to and doesn't state outright most of the time, and it's also something that isn't always apparent.

JJ has two best friends. This already takes him away from the worst of autism pop culture, where he would often be portrayed with no friends. But we soon see that there is something strange in the way Freddie and Cook treat JJ. They say some things to him that are kind of harsh, when he's being genuine ("She's not looking at you"). Cook roughhouses with JJ in a way JJ doesn't seem super thrilled by. JJ seems obligated to go along with all of Cook's plans*. There's an element of bullying in the way the two of them treat him, like he inherently has less authority or less value. At the same time we see Freddie and Cook's tenderness and sense of responsibility toward JJ when he is distraught.

(*I should note that there are some times when Freddie starts asking JJ to keep Cook out of trouble; the relationship between the three of them is certainly not a one-dimensional thing where Freddie and Cook always control, bully, and take care of JJ, but I think that's a very strong element.)

This is a really fantastically realistic and complicated portrayal of a trio of teenage friends, regardless of the disability aspect. But with the disability it becomes almost miraculous. Without the help of words like autistic or disabled (although Cook uses some words related to mental illness), we get the picture: JJ is guileless--which makes him funny, and easy to use--and afraid to stand up for himself, because he sees himself as inferior to other people--which, again, makes him easy to use and push around. He is very loyal to his friends, partly because he doesn't like things to change and partly, I think, because he doubts his ability to make new friends. Freddie and Cook sometimes treat him in a way that's really patronizing and disrespectful. (And despite this fucked up stuff, all three genuinely care about each other, because in real life friends can treat each other terribly without meaning harm.)

We also see that JJ feels guilty because his mom is stressed out about him. Which is really classic disabled kid stuff--real disabled kid, not TV disabled kid--and is conveyed really briefly and effectively.

So we kind of see JJ's disabled-ness, or what it means to him socially at least, through the way Cook and Freddie treat him and the way he reacts; and the way he feels guilty about his mom, and sometimes hates himself for looking like all those words. We definitely see straight-up impairment. But sometimes we see how the experience of growing up as disabled--not specifically ASD, but you know, "spazzo, headcase, fruitcake, retard"--has in some ways really shut down JJ's sense of what he can be and what he's allowed to pursue.

Also--the scene that started this for me, at the party, with JJ getting locked on. Freddie comes to the party, finds JJ, helps him to come outside, and then tells off Effy for not looking after JJ; and Effy apologizes. What I was originally just going to say is that Freddie and Effy are both talking about JJ as someone who needs this particular kind of support, but they're not using any words that are explicitly related to disability. Which is just an example of something that I like and think is realistic.

But another thing is just the complicated thing of being disabled and having friends who don't seem to need as much support as you need. To paraphrase, for the third time on this blog, a line from my favorite book: "They needed to treat him like an autistic person, but they also needed not to treat him that way." How is JJ supposed to say that Freddie's pissing him off and needs to stop ruffling his hair, when JJ was dependent on Freddie to come and rescue him from the party? Thinking about this really kills me. Gosh (oh my giddy giddy giddy aunt?) I love television.

ETA: Really annoyed with JJ's portryal in 3x09 though.

I watched this Skins episode and had some gay thoughts and some Autistic thoughts

So for a really long time I've been wanting to watch Skins because I knew the following information: there was this lesbian couple that everyone liked. And then one of them had sex with a guy with ASD because she felt sorry for him, and all the lesbians on the Internet were mad because it was like she was really straight! Argh! And hearing this, I was kind of like, gosh that's fucked up for the guy with ASD though. What about him? Queer Autistic TV investigation time!

So, I watched the episode where the lesbian sleeps with the guy with autism. And it was like...I actually can't believe it exists. The character with autism is the best fictional character with ASD I've ever read about or seen. It's so easy to explain why something is wrong, and so hard to explain why something is right, so I almost don't even know how to talk about why I love him so much. (Spoilers, obviously.)

The walls of his bedroom are covered with a chart he made about his relationships with other people. And that sounds so stupid and offensive, but somehow it's not. And he walks like he has ASD and he talks like he has ASD; like, the real kind, not the TV kind. And and and...I just can't even talk about it. I'll probably end up watching the entire show and then maybe I can try to write about him again.

It was such a good episode though. Like the wall chart, the "once-only charity event" sex wasn't as offensive as it sounds. Towards the beginning of the episode, JJ says something like, "If I could be normal for one day I'd lose my virginity, and then I'd tell my friends not to fight with each other and they'd listen to me instead of ruffling my hair." Emily (the lesbian character) replies that maybe he could have the things he wants if he actually pursued them. So he sets out to tell his friends what he thinks of them, with terrible results, but in the process he and Emily become closer and she announces that they should sleep together. It's not like, "I'm going to have sex with you because no one else would ever have sex with you," it's like, "I'm going to have sex with you because you think that you'll never have sex, and this will change the way you think of yourself." Which is kind of a messed up reason to have sex with someone, but it's not insulting. (And apparently he later has a real relationship.)

The episode ends with JJ's mom watching the two friends talking and laughing together, and realizing that she doesn't need to worry about him--which was one of the things he most wanted. And then I almost cried. It was so good. I just like, couldn't even handle it, from a gay or an Autistic perspective. Emily and JJ were, like, humans!

Like, if I can put on my other hat--as a person who's gay in a weird way--I really appreciated this. I feel like if people think a lesbian sleeping with men is just inherently offensive no matter what, then they don't understand what's so offensive about most "lesbians sleeping with men" plotlines. I feel like the problem is the implication that men trump women--so women can be involved with women, have sex or even a relationship, and they can even identify as gay or bi--but a guy can change everything, or a guy is the root of everything. For example, my understanding is that on House a female character was having sex with random women because she was depressed, and afraid of a relationship with a guy she liked. This obviously devalues sex/relationships between women because it's just presented as something you do, not something important like heterosexual relationships.

But what happens on Skins is basically the opposite of this. Emily is in love with a girl, she has sex with JJ as a gesture of friendship, and at the end of the episode she's still in love with her girlfriend. It shows that lesbian feelings can be secure and stable and aren't completely dislodged the minute you get the chance to sleep with a guy.

Like, I guess I'm gold star because I've never had sex with a guy, but I feel very un-gold star sometimes because I've had so many really close, affectionate friendships with guys, which have sometimes had a sexual dimension. These guys have always thought of me as gay and I've always known when involved in these friendships that if I get married I want it to be to a woman, and that when I'm sexually moved by something involving a guy, it's in spite of the fact that he's a guy which tends to mean my reactions are weaker.

To try to explain the sex thing without being too explicit, guys are like a bunch of grapes or some Easy Mac or something. I mean I love Easy Mac, but it's not a whole meal. And I don't think the fact that guys are sexual Easy Mac to me (instead of some disgusting food that I would never eat in any circumstances) makes me any less of a lesbian. I'm sorry but it's completely heterosexist to say that my feelings towards guys are on the same level as my feelings towards girls. If you say that, it's like you're saying men are just so super important that the weight of anything involving men gets multiplied by a billion so that it automatically outweighs anything involving just women.

Yeah so anyway I really liked this episode of Skins and I think it's awesome that they showed a lesbian doing stuff with a guy and still very much being a lesbian. And it was the Best Autism Ever. And I'm excited to watch more.