gay kids are trying to be productive academically, sometimes that doesn't happen but it's presently happening a little. so I don't want to write too much.
some thoughts though:
1. we can't all be Renaissance men
("look, stop freaking out about how disabled so and so is, he seems to be supporting himself" "but he can't tie his shoes and he could never go to a frat party!" "that's okay, he can wear slippers" "but some job environments wouldn't consider it appropriate to wear slippers!!" "but so and so's current boss and coworkers are okay with it" "WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO AVOID TALKING ABOUT HOW DISABLED SO AND SO IS, HE'S JUST SOOO DISABLED AAAAARRGHH I CAN'T EVEN")
2. does disorganized speech mean disorganized thought--too lazy to find what I'm talking about, but I was reading comments on a blog post by someone who was having trouble getting her kid diagnosed with ASD, and the professional she went to kept being like "no, she seems like she has some kind of psychosis because of the way she talks." some people like Amanda Baggs and Anne Corwin were saying in the comments that they speak in disorganized ways but that it just means language and thought are not very connected for them, their actual thoughts are not disorganized, it's just hard to turn them into words.
however, for me, language is me, there's nothing without it. Augusten Burrows's annoying brother said that he had to create his entire personality himself, and I feel the same. ADCN said that when I talk it sounds like I'm just thinking out loud, and that is the natural/easy way for me to talk, the way I was talking to him when he said that.
I am a poor speaker because I'm a poor thinker. I'd like to get a good rediagnosis/evaluation before I graduate from college, because it seems sensible to have it. but I'm actually worried that at this point I'm too careful about speaking coherently, and my speech won't be a complete window into my thought process the way it was 10-15 years ago.
3. "social skills don't exist," a super epic and great post which I have already written a lot of. this isn't the same as saying social impairment doesn't exist--social impairment can be framed in many ways and it is socially constructed of course, but it is REAL. but I just think that social skills aren't even real. it's a completely useless/empty concept.
first, what are "social skills"? making people like you? making friends? being able to manipulate people? making people not bully you? coming off the way you want to come off? those can't ALL BE THE SAME SKILL. what if you come off as intelligent/authoritative because you're tall? is being tall a social skill for that person? is being the same race as other people a social skill because it makes people more comfortable around you?
second, there is more than one person in the world. not everyone is taken in by the same things. and also, I guess I'm an idealist and tend to have a pretty gooey idea of connection and love. I believe there's potential for connection between various pairs and combinations of people--but not everyone gets the opportunity to connect. that doesn't mean anything as simple as saying that someone "lacks social skills." what a hateful thing to say, everyone has social skills, they're just not all the same things.
I also really love Stanley Greenspan/floortime, which is a way of actually consciously modifying your behavior to try to connect with people who have severe disabilities (for example, trying to speak in a way that isn't rough on their sensory issues, or trying to become involved in their stimming). If anything is an actual SKILL, this stuff is, and I think it's awesome--but it's not something that most people are naturally good at.