15 March, 2013

Also if you don't understand about timers

Something that I find tough is that I don't really know how to describe the daily effects of my disability to people and the only way I feel like I can do it is by just showing people or telling people about things that I need to do to function.

The problem is, it seems like a lot of people can't extrapolate what's going on from what I show them, and some people's only reaction to me saying, "See, I have to do this to do this" is to encourage me to do something that is a more common way of dealing with things. I wish people could try to understand what I'm like by seeing that I have to write things on my hands and my computer so I can always see them, but it seems like most people just look at this strategy and see a problem and try to tell me that I should write stuff in a special book (which it would be harder for me to use because it would take more memory and energy to check what it says).

Writing on myself particularly is something that people have always been kind of distressed about and the only reason I can see for this is a bunch of negative associations that are clearly associated with disability. People usually see it as something that looks bad because it clearly indicates that someone has thinking and memory problems, but when I was growing up I was also told that I shouldn't do it because it would imply that I'm the kind of person who would self injure.

It's not really an issue for me that someone might think I have problems with my memory or self-injury because those things are true and I don't think that indicates anything bad about me.

But anyway, I just really wish that people could understand what's wrong with me just by looking at things I have to do, but if I can't even explain to other people what's wrong with me then I guess it's not really fair to expect them to figure it out when I can't.

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