I'm approaching the cutoff for DD services for acquired disability so all I can think about is I better get one right now. I'm thinking of lying down in the middle of a busy intersection except we don't have those in Lorain County.
"I'm hoping someone will come up and hit me in the forebrain with a blunt object so I can have a real disability."
"That's a terrible thing to say!"
"I know. But I have autism, so I think I'd be pretty much the same."
"Oh yeah, I heard about autism on TV. Is that the disability--oh sorry, do you prefer 'difference'--where you rock back and forth and don't like looking people in the eye?"
"Well yeah but that's not the part that makes me want to stick my head in a gas oven*."
*speaking of, my former professor/friend told me that maybe I am like an electric oven (gets to a particular setting slowly) and other people are like gas ovens (gets there right away). At the time this sounded kind of sweet, but all ovens are not created equal. Now I face explaining why I can't go to my practicum because my friend's car is in the shop and the reason I'm using my friend's car (which is massive and doesn't have a working dashboard--you have to guess which gear you're in and how fast you're going) is because the process of applying for a community service car was too complicated for me. In previous years, this professor has accused me of "putting myself down to get sympathy," so I can only imagine how fun this conversation will be.