I need help

I don't like myself very much sometimes. I need to take stimming breaks and that's not an awful thing, but I feel like since I got here I've taken such huge ones, hours and hours watching movies while I play Solitaire. It is hard to go outside and walk around and use the different money, but I don't have time to always recuperate.

My bedding pack never came. It's a blanket, sheets, and pillows. I brought my own sheets for sensory reasons, and I have a quilt, so I've been doing pretty well just stuffing my pillowcase with the coats I don't yet need. Today, for some reason, I decided I would go to the site office, the place I picked up my keys, to ask for advice. I got lost, though. It's so weird because it's the first place I went when I got to the UK, and after a lot of work I eventually found it yesterday. But I couldn't find it and I walked around the city for almost an hour.

Finally I went to buy a sandwich and ended up accidentally eating it in the sandwich shop instead of taking it home. I mean, I wanted to eat it in the shop, but I didn't want to get it on a nice plate and sit at the table and wait to pay until I was finished eating. Paying still stresses me out and it wasn't a lot of fun to eat when I knew that was coming. I did fine, though, and now I know that "sit-in" means the opposite of "take-away" or "carry-out" which means takeout. I just felt sort of uncomfortable after the whole going-to-the-site-office-and-getting-lunch endeavor took such a massive amount of time.

Some of my flatmates asked if I wanted to go to the societies fair with them and I said that I couldn't because I had to go see about the bedding pack. I have been feeling anxious about that too because I know it wasn't a good decision, but it's hard for me to do things with people I don't know very well. We are all eating together tonight, so that's something.

I still haven't bought groceries and made decisions about what I'm going to eat. I guess I'll do that now, although I don't know when we're eating dinner, so I shouldn't take more than an hour or two.