I am having trouble with things. I get so tired. I have so many assignments that I know I'm not really expected to do all of them, but I don't know which ones I'm actually supposed to do. And I walk so much. I can't wait to be home.
The only nice thing is I have found divinity. I was telling my friend, at home when I look at trees and sidewalks and the sky, it all sort of shoots into me sometimes and makes me tremble. For a long time, here, that didn't happen. The buildings just looked like someone's idea of a building. But in the past few weeks, walking home from my art history class through an endless maze of dark parking lots, coming to the top of a flight of stairs crammed in the middle of the city and seeing the sky all crystalline rising in the middle of the walls. Back alleys. Flowers. The sky at night is purple with blue sneaking up behind it. I don't mind looking at things anymore, and that matters more than school being hard, or having friends.
17 November, 2009
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