Part one--safe space

So, I find Internet "safe spaces" to be probably the most unpleasant thing on the whole planet. For the last five or six years, I have spent time in feminist and queer forums that are supposed to be safe spaces. I used to spend a lot of time in them, but now I most certainly don't.

Here is how a safe space works: if someone says something that is offensive, instead of trying to point out the problem with what they are saying, you just jump on them and insult them in a big group until they either apologize profusely or leave. Guess what, they usually leave, and will probably continue to say the same offensive thing to other people in the future.

Also, in the queer forum where I have unfortunately spent most of my safe space time, it is considered a good thing to make up a new name for your sexual orientation because you think you're too much of a special snowflake to be described by any of the sexual orientation terms that already exist. And if your high school classmates ask why you don't call yourself "bi" or "gay" instead, that is just as big a deal as someone being disowned because they are transgendered, and you better not say otherwise because then you're making an unsafe space!

If you were wondering why I still go to this forum, the answer is that I experiment with saying things that are not offensive at all but phrasing them in a slightly different way than most of the community members do. Sometimes, when you post something that isn't an exact replica of everyone else's post, you get a warning or even get banned from the community! Then you have to email the mod and point out that what you said wasn't actually offensive, and they grudgingly let you back in telling you that you'd better be more careful about how you express things in the future. They definitely don't apologize. There's no apologizing in safe space; even though safe space people usually identify as Radical Activists, they don't seem to have any real-world desire to make other people's day-to-day lives better, instead of making them worse.

The forum where I mostly post now is an Asperger's forum and it is not a safe space. People definitely argue and say what they think, but they are kind, too. When they disagree with someone, they try to use logic to convince the other person that they're wrong. A lot of very energetic argumentative posts end with the poster saying, "I hope I'm not offending you or making you angry; I don't mean to come off as harsh." I think this is because people with Asperger's don't float around in a cloud of I Am Normal I Am Right You Are Not Even A Real Person, like some other people do.