My mom teasingly asked me if I was mad at her for planning to abort me if I was XY (which would mean I'd have Nettleship Falls, which would mean I'd grow up as a person with low vision, and become legally blind at about the age I am now). I said, "I think it's screwed up, but you're my mom."
A minute later, I ate some of my mom's poached eggs even though I don't usually like eggs. I said, "Maybe I'm pregnant. I hope I don't have a kid who's not disabled."
Her face froze. "Amanda," she said, "what a horrible, stupid thing to say."
Since I will never be pregnant, my statement is kind of a joke, while my mom's decision to abort me if I was XY was a real decision, and not a joke.
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Nettleship Falls must be the best impairment name ever.
ReplyDeleteA few days ago, my dad and I were talking about disability, and he said that he and Mom would have aborted me or my sister if we had had Down Syndrome. Then I asked if they would have aborted me if there was a prenatal test for autism (assuming I would have tested positive) and he said that they probably would have because the way autism was talked about 20 years ago, people thought it meant there was no hope for a child. I think I felt the same way you did in this conversation -- it's screwed up, but they're my parents.
When I have a kid I will never ever tell them that something they say is stupid.
Hopefully one day your mum'll understand, although I know what you're writing about isn't directed at that.
ReplyDeleteFamily conversations, jesus.
Ouch. That's pretty screwed up... if I ever planned on having an abortion if the fetus tested positive for some gender-based disability, I'd certainly never tell my kid about it later. Way to boost self-esteem... "Hey, honey, I'm so glad you weren't a boy, because I totally would have aborted you."
ReplyDeleteI wonder if Kiddo has Nettleship Falls... I know he has some type of heritable, x-linked ocular albinism... because saying Nettleship Falls is waaay more fun than ocular albinism.