07 January, 2010

really charming things people have said to me on the Internet

"What are your interests? My interests are California and Harry Potter...sorry, I'm being weird, I guess I'm at the lower-functioning end of the Asperger's spectrum." (I think this was somewhat sincere, that's why it's charming)

"I haven't emailed you because all I can think about is how you'll just answer me and tell me what a dick I am."

"No one really cares about the world or about people." (This is charming because it's a Francisco Hernandez reference!)

A set of pictures of rooms crammed with food, books, clothes, and possibly garbage, labeled "Life skills"

"I thought I should email you before I email my family because you'll get more nervous if I don't email you and think that I'm mad." (same person as #2--how cute is her theory of mind?)

I could say more but I don't want this list to become a Toddopoly, and I think that's likely to happen. Basically, I just feel really lucky that ASD people sometimes get in contact with me because of YouTube, because I don't know any ASD people in real life (well, one person seems ASD, but isn't diagnosed and doesn't describe herself that way). It's nice to watch people become scared in the same way that I am scared, and be careful in the same way that I'm careful.

My friend who seems ASD (who I haven't seen in eight months, but who is on campus, so I'll probably see her within the next few days) is a girl named Jane who always skips around and apologizes for things. One of my favorite things with Jane is that sometimes we both just sort of run off at the mouth using all our apology and carefulness scripts, and then we both rush to reassure each other. "I'm sorry I'm being so weird"/"No I'm sorry I'm being weird"/"But you're not being weird, it's my fault, I'm the one being weird"/"No you're not being weird, I think you're great"/"No, you're wrong, actually you're the one who's great, I think you confused the pronouns you were trying to use." It's like a puppet show after a while; the words aren't really language, just a game. A really safe game full of history.

I am not an especially good friend, by any means, but my friendship can have a systematic quality, and I don't think that's such a bad thing because I'm starting to realize how nice it is in others.

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